thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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