I've blown a few things in my day
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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