didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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