Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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