I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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