I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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