More tranny stories later!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize