A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I intend to get homeless drunk
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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