It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
