You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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