If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
