She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
