I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
they need to just BURY HIM!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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