At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
