BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
