she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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