But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize