im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
