one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
