Its about making memories worth repressing
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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