she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
