I accidentally burped into my bong.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
