How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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