I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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