ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
