your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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