Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
