I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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