He disabled his match.com account in front of me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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