It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
