He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
