no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
