im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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