I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
