Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
