from now on my penis is your penis
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
