Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
