Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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