Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
