Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
