She's JV to your varsity
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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