can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
