i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
