New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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