Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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