Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
