your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
