then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
