Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
