I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
