No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
