Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
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