I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
