Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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