Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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