i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
