Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You were trust falling into bushes
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
