my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
