I'm going to jail i love you
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
