well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
